Neil Hopcroft

A digital misfit

I owe somebody a mail (several somebodies, to be precise…comment here if you think you’re one of them) but I’ve forgotten how to say anything interesting.

Well, maybe its not quite that bad – conversing with someone in person is not so difficult because you can respond to what they are saying, ask them questions about it, find out why they care about something or what they think should happen, or whatever.

But when it comes to writing letters (or email) its far more difficult to drive a conversation without being self centred. What should I talk about in a world thats full of opinions that are more coherent and better stated than mine, in a world where the experiences are in technicolour to my shades of grey, where the experts really do know what they’re talking about.

Plenty for me to say, but why would I think that anyone wanted to pay attention to it.


Categories: Memories.

/ 9 Comments

9 comments

    • neilh

      Well, I think thats the problem, I’ve almost got the hang of it within the context of a conversation (mostly by encouraging other people to talk rather than talking myself…I hope), but an email seems so formal these days when compared with, say, instant messengers or even Livejournal. And that formality demands a level of content I’m no longer confident I can bring to the format.

      A bit of practice and I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it again, and descend back into the old, self-centred person I used to be.

      Reply
  2. rosamicula

    Plenty for me to say, but why would I think that anyone wanted to pay attention to it.

    Tush. Nothing would get said or written if everyone thought like that. And is quite right.

    I think I suffer from an entirely different problem. I find it much easier to say something to everyone in general by witttering on lj, than to talk to specific people by email or phone.

    Reply
    • neilh

      I find LJ easier too, because its passive so nobody has to read it if they don’t want to, but the specific communication I was thinking about when I wrote this is wholly inappropriate for LJ which means I’ve got to remember how to compose an email.

      Reply
      • rosamicula

        When I was in York I sat in a cafe for a couple of hours and wrote some real letters with a proper pen to people I really owed some communication to. It was easier than emailing. Perhaps that might work for you?

        Reply
        • neilh

          Agreed, except I’ve got a kind of ambient level of uselessness which will mean I’ve either not got a pen or the address of the writee, or some other thing which just makes me feel all the worse about it.

          In this case it is not possible to write a real-world letter since the only communication point I have is email. Its been composed. Sent. No reply as yet, nor do I particularly expect one now, because I suspect shes got the same problem I had…no idea what to say.

          Reply
  4. neilh

    (wonders about creating a new tag for ‘things that make Smiff go gnnung’)

    The problem, in this case, is that I’m trying to strike up a conversation with somebody I hardly know, having met only for an coffee, but someone I like and would like to get to know better. We live far apart, so meeting for another coffee is a nontrivial exercise, and anything more than that seems a little presumptuous.

    Reply
  5. neilh

    Of course, theres some link there…and some chance for ‘being in the area’, but its not easy to organise, especially given my current state of working too much.

    Reply

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