Neil Hopcroft

A digital misfit

Overtired underperformer

There are days I think I’m not very good at my job, then I get a phone call like this:

TS: Hello, I am calling from technical support, we have a report of your computer running slowly
Me: Oh, really, where did you say you were calling from?
TS: Technical support, sir, you have a computer that is running slowly?
Me: How did you get this number?
TS: It comes from Internet Explorer, it has notified us that your computer is running slowly, you do have a computer, sir?
Me: I don’t use Internet Explorer, I think you are mistaken
TS: I can prove it to you, sir
Me: Really?
TS: Yes, go to the start button on your computer
Me: I don’t have a start button, I’ve got a command prompt, it says ‘root@janus4:’
TS: This is your phone number 01440……?
Me: Yes, but you didn’t get that from Internet Explorer
TS: Yes we did, I can prove it to you, sir
Me: I still don’t use Internet Explorer
TS: Would you like to talk to a supervisor?
Me: Yes please
… at which point I lay the handset down out of earshot until the line goes free


7 comments

  1. I had two similar calls on Saturday, both starting off with “We’re ringing about your computer.” I wondered where it was going …

    • It wouldn’t be so bad but these guys called twice…I should have played with them some more but I was in the middle of something productive.

  2. My mum got one of those calls, and unfortunately didn’t have the knowledge needed to spot that they were scammers; to this day she’s convinced that they could see what was on her computer.

    Bastards, all of ’em.

    • Yes, there must be enough people out there this does work on to make it worth setting up a call centre and script to sell something – I didn’t even find out what they were selling, which was a little remiss I know. Dodgy Indian antivirus if the tone of the call is anything to go by – I don’t trust AV from the big vendors, much less that from people I’ve never heard of who are trying to con me into buying something.

    • They couldn’t find that in their script and there was a distinct pause at this point while they found the scripted way out of something they didn’t understand from their callee.

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