Neil Hopcroft

A digital misfit

Yesterday I was full of rant about the state of the modern world. Again. Today Microsoft aren’t making anything better – this is a beautiful piece of obvious engineering, in order to get your sparkly new top-of-the-line disk to work on Win2K you have to search around on their website for an obscure set of instructions to change the registry.

But that is not the rant I was aiming for. Out of town shopping centres are. I’m prepared to believe that Cambridge is somehow a special case because it has more serious parking problems than many places (howcome? Maybe thats /another/ rant?). So the thing to do is to go to the out of town centres. Theres a sprawling complex along Newmarket Road, including a whole series of the usual suspects, PCWorld, Halfords, Courts (as was, thats just empty now), MFI, etc.

I parked near Maplin, not that near, since everyone is fighting over the spaces close to the shops. This, surely, only actually makes a difference if you are intending to buy something heavy, or have difficulty walking, or something, but people fight over the spaces anyway. Which makes it quite difficult to get across the carpark since they’re all looking for the next space rather than paying attention to not running people over. And, of course, the few footpaths there are head in completely the wrong direction.

Then, since Maplin didn’t stock the thing I wanted (but at the time I didn’t really know what I wanted so it wasn’t particularly helpful to try to ask) I headed over to PCWorld. Easy.

Apart from the fact that the whole area has been designed so its ‘easy to drive around’, without any thought for pedestrians, sure, theres a footpath, but that hugs the edge of the buildings and is more there for fire safety requirements than to actually be used.

Then theres the crossing to let you get to the other half of the complex, theres a fairly busy road through the middle.

Whoever ‘designed’ this has never walked anywhere in their life, you start by pressing the button to say you want to cross, but theres no man on the other side of the road to tell you when you can go, you have to look at the little man above the button, you can’t see the lights for the cars since they’re all shielded from you so you have to rely on the beeps. You only get four or five before the traffic starts going again. Assuming, of course, that the traffic is taking any notice of the fact there is a crossing there at all, since its only a few metres from a roundabout and theres invariably enough of a queue that everyone is quite impatient by the time the pesky pedestrians start pressing their buttons.

Then theres the battle with the people who’ve decided to park on the pavement because theres no parking spaces close to their target shop – I wonder how many of these people drive from one shop in the complex to another?

Getting back to the car and attempting to escape the whole area before going mad found me in a 10 minute queue to get out of the car park, due to some spectacularly badly timed lights.

How can we stop this madness before its too late?


13 comments

  1. ewx

    If you don’t like it (and I can see why, Newmarket Rd’s “little America” is badly designed and soulless even by the low standards of such places) then I think your best option once it’s there is not to spend money there – use the city centre, or shop online, or shop in a different town entirely(!).

    • Nothing a good pandemic won’t solve. The problem is making sure that it only affects the right people. Perhaps we can make Burberry toxic?

  2. Newmarket road combines the worst aspects of out-of-town shopping centres with not actually being out of town, and therefore is stuck in Cambridge traffic. It would be a lot more sane if it were built out beyond the airport, or some similar location.

    Cambridge is a bit of a special case in its traffic problems, in that none of them can be fixed without demolishing bits of colleges ..

  3. how can we stop this madness before it’s too late?

    S’already done mate… come for a pint instead :)

    p.s. are you around in cambridge in about 3 weeks? I know it sounds like a long time away but am going on to weekends soon and wouldn;t want you to get another contract without at least us grabbing some coffee somewhere…

    • Yeah, I should be about, I finish working at the end of the week so I’ll have a bit more time after that. No immediate plans for escaping Cambridge…

      Maybe we could go for a meal one evening, or something?

          • that’s good – I’m not very fussy either – I think I should actually be more fussy when I compare myself to other people. Mr friend MoJo has a million reasons for different foods… makes my head spin!

            I’m working weekends for three weeks and days off are Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Can always come straight after work and meet you if that’s agreeable :)

          • I finish work on friday, so any time beyond that should be fine, how about next wednesday? Is there anywhere good near you? I don’t know places around here, theres a couple of places I’ve been in Cambridge but I’m not sure I could find my way there again.

          • Wednesdays child says…

            Wednesday sounds *perfect*

            There’s a couple of places I know; one in St Ives and one in Huntingdon that are both very good but I don’t mind coming to Cambridge and checking out something there – or we could play it by ear and have a wander around etc etc… do you know if there are any good galleries exhibiting at the moment? or is that not your thing?

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