Neil Hopcroft

A digital misfit

“Hello. You are through to NTL customer services. We don’t give a f**k about you. We are never here. We just will f**k you about, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just f**k off and leave us alone. Get a life.”


Categories: Memories.

/ 19 Comments

19 comments

  1. aperrott

    I have a theory that their entire customer services operation is run out of an old caravan (probably in Slough) and is used as a form of punishment for erring employees…

    Reply
  2. strange_complex

    They are amazing, aren’t they? I’m a new customer (as of 10 days ago), and recently called them to ask if they could possibly send my mail to no. 18a in my street, where I actually live, rather than 18, which is a completely different building. I was told that this would ‘totally mess up their system’, and actually had to argue the case for having my mail delivered to me, rather than someone else, before they would change it.

    Reply
    • neilh

      Heaven forbid you might actually read the letter they send you, you’d try to phone them more if that happened….

      Remembering happy days in Oxford listening to NTL hold music all afternoon, cursing at Iestyn for putting on some gruesome jazz when he normally played the Clash only to discover, often after hours of horrible cacophony, that he was just on hold.

      I’ve never seen such comprehensive maps of voice menu systems.

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Virgin Trains

    Virgin have been doing dealings with NTL recently – maybe we’ll start getting that instead of “wrong kind of snow” when their trains are delayed.

    “According to our surveys, most passengers don’t want to hear excuses. So, you’re all 60 miles from home and the train is nadgered. F**k off.”

    Chinese-dress Steve

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Did you get my email?

      Mail server acting up again? No other way of contacting other than hijacking your blog comments.

      Tracey

      Reply
      • neilh

        Re: Did you get my email?

        Yeah, dunno whats up with the mailsystems, seems something between Enfour and me (Demon/Easily), since I’m not aware of anyone else having troubles…do you have virus/spam filtering going on? Demon have some spam filtering but thats based on honeypots and won’t kill anything unless its being cc’d to their fake mail addresses. Easily are just routing, filtering turned off.

        Reply
    • neilh

      Re: Randomly

      Likewise.

      It was good to meet you, I really enjoyed your set, though I don’t know enough to feel comfortable dancing yet, would like to get to know more about that kind of music….tend to prefer the faster paced stuff rather than the ethereal things, and less with the bagpipes, but everything else was great. Do you do sets at the calling often? Other places?

      Reply
      • karohemd

        Re: Randomly

        *laughs*
        I know as many people who really like the ethereal and the bagpipe stuff so I seem to have found the right mix. :o)

        There’s a bit of a waiting list for guest spots at the Calling, I’m aiming for another one after the New Year as I’ll have new stuff from Germany then.

        I run my own club with and at the Kambar: Octaine (once a month, on the 2nd Tuesday). The next one is on the 14th of October, the one after that on the 11th of November.
        We play pretty much anything and most of it is outside anything commercial, even in an alternative sense. Have a look at the website for past setlists.

        Just as an example, in October I will play a German 80s set in the second slot and a PowerNoise/Breakcore/Glitch set in the last slot.
        In November I will most likely play Dark Ambient, experimental electronica and ambient noise in the first set.
        In the past I’ve done Classic Soul and Funk, Blues, Americana, Noise, Industrial/EBM, Classic Rock and Folk/Medieval sets, basically right across my eclectic music collection.

        I have and will again DJ at Wake Up Screaming (the Rocksoc club) as well.

        And hopefully, the Kambar will finally let me have a date for Die Fabrik, my very own Industrial/Electro/Noise club project. I’m currently aiming for November.

        Reply
          • karohemd

            Re: Randomly

            There’s a Calling on the Tuesday and I’ll be there.
            It will be painful, as has the first set (far too much 80s) but I’ll be there regardless.

          • neilh

            Re: Randomly

            Yeah, I’ll probably head along for that too…though you’re right, I’m not sure the world needs more 80s nights.

          • karohemd

            Re: Randomly

            It’s just one set, thankfully.
            A while ago, The Calling ran a pure 80s club on a Friday night and they packed out the Kambar to capacity by midnight so they had to shut the doors. It was scary…

            I’m sure people wouldn’t mind seeing you at The Druids on Tuesdays, either. More gamers than geeks, though.

          • karohemd

            Re: Randomly

            If people can actually be persuaded to stop chatting we usually play board or card games (of the non collectible variety). Games played included Munchkin (all varieties), Chez Geek, Cave Troll, Settlers of Catan, Groo and classics like Mah Jong. The pub is far too noisy for roleplaying.
            We used to play a lot more but it seems to be more and more social without gaming. :o(

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