Neil Hopcroft

A digital misfit

The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had

Maybe “Wonderful way to go” wasn’t the best choice of music for my journey home tonight.

“Tell me your story, tell me no lies; we touch each other – but only with our eyes.
Some kind of game, to play with desire; it’s just beneath the skin that I’m alive.”

Today I feel stupid. She’s probably got a point, I shouldn’t’ve turned into one of those ‘scary guys with stalker tendancies’. But thats just the kind of thing that happens when the emotional blindness kicks in and theres no feedback, good or bad.

It was time to be moving along anyway, all things considered. The hope has been fun, but its gone now. Thank you. Next time, I don’t fall for the wrong one[0].

(and this isn’t actually as morose as it might seem – its more of an awakening to something that someone has been trying to tell me for a while, I knew she was right, of course, but its all been confirmed today)

I feel the wanderlust returning.

[0] if anyones got any hints about how to achieve this I’d like to hear them


3 comments

  1. Oh Neil. If only I could make you a big mug of tea right now and scoop you up and give you a big hug.

    Either way, I’m always here if you need me. I know that probably doesn’t sound very convincing because I’ve been totally off the radar but I hope we can get together soon xxxx

  2. don’t stop falling for them.
    Waiting for exactly the right one probably means it’ll not happen.
    live in hope, ’tis better than living in dispair.

    ah bugger. I must listen to me sometimes!

    hugs

    wanderlust ; I hear le massif centrale est tres nice…

  3. I know exactly what you mean about going a bit weird because you get no feedback. Don’t blame yourself, it’s what happens when hope runs unchecked.

    As for everything else, what said. And don’t delete this post, you’ll be able to look back on it when you have more perspective and feel better about it. Chin up, old chap.

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